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My lies started small.  You know:

“Yes, I’ve done my homework.”  ”No, I didn’t take the last cookie.”  ”I would never hit my little brother.”

Then, they became lies to save face (mine or someone elses’).  As in:

“I did not know my hose had a run in them.”  ”No, that dress doesn’t make you look fat.”  ”Of course, I RSVP’d.  I don’t know why you didn’t get it.”

Lately, though, I’ve started telling lies about really stupid stuff.  Here’s an example.  My neighbor started raising chickens so she could get fresh eggs.  Months ago, she brought me five or six of these recently laid eggs.  For some reason, I never ate them.  But when she asked me how they were, I just waxed poetic about their fresh taste.  Of course, she started bringing me eggs all the time.  Soon, I had an ice box full of eggs, which I never ate and which I would throw out under cover of night.  Why?  Why don’t I eat the eggs?  I don’t know.  Why do I say I like them?  Again, I don’t know.  But, due to my early lie, I’ll be getting fresh eggs until every last one of those hens goes to its heavenly reward.

I’m in a quandry about dog bones, too.  Some friends once babysat my dog, Jake, and fell in love with him.  They gave him some bones, and, of course, he was ecstatic.  So, my friends brought over more bones.  Then more bones.  I can’t see these people without them giving me a bag of bones.  Here’s the problem.  I don’t want my dog eating bones.  He drags them through the house and always hides at least one bone to enjoy during the dead of night.  He feels he must bring the bone into my bedroom and chomp on it so I can’t sleep.  I’ve read that small slivers can get stuck in the dog’s throat and hurt him.  Why did I thank my friends so heartily for filling my house with bones?

But, here’s the real corker.  A really stupid lie.  Even stupider than the eggs and the bones. It started with my dentist.  His office called one day to remind me of my appointment the next day.  Even so, I forgot!  So, the office called when I didn’t show up.  The call went something like this:

(Me.)  Hello.

(Office:)  This is Dr. Smith’s office.  Is this Kitty?

(Me.)  No.

(Office:)  This is the only number we have for Ms. McKinney.

(Me:)  Hum . . .

(Office:)  Do you know how to reach her?

(Me:)  Uh, no.

(Office:)  Why are you answering her phone.

(Me:)  Because it rang.

Mercifully, the office representative finally gave up asking questions.  Now, you know as well as I do that she knew I was the party to whom she was speaking.   So, now, I am too embarrassed to go back to that dentist.  I’m going to find a brand new dentist.

All of this brings me to my New Year’s resolution, which is to think carefully before I tell a lie.  I will always ask myself this question:  How long will this lie haunt me?

 

 

 

 

 

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